I'm A Football

Sometimes I feel like a football being kicked around by servants of fate. Sometimes one good kick leaves me sailing to the goalpost. It’s celebration time then ! After that, I’m out on the field again, trying to make it to another goalpost. Sometimes I reach fast. Sometimes I almost reach but then I’m sent hurling back in the opposite direction where I have to start afresh. Sometimes I am mercilessly kicked around to and fro, constantly moving but reaching nowhere. In the midst of all this confusion, there’s the Crowd… watching my every move. Some cheer me on and others just go boo-boo (Pfffht to them). Spinning and sprinting around the ground gets real confusing at times…. I get so dizzy I don’t know where I’m going. But the worst part is when a great goal is missed because the goalkeeper had good reflexes (somebody paralyze him!). But the good part is that there are many more goals out there waiting to be scored.

As they say, life's a game... So enjoy it!

Holy Feet

My finger reached for my monitor.

Click!

It then proceeded to switch on the broadband modem.

Click!

Its work ended there and the feet took charge. The big toe of the left foot switched on the CPU and the computer came back to life.

The mother saw this.

“Don’t do that again,” she was referring to the shameful deed of using my foot to touch the CPU.

“Why!?” I countered, “It’s nothing... It's a stupid machine!”

“When you marry a Hindu and get kicked out of his house, don’t complain.”

I went to the balcony making a mental note to marry a Christian.

Why do people consider feet so unholy that it cannot touch most objects? If by chance your feet happen to come in contact with another person, you have to perform some kind of ‘Oops-I’m-Sorry’ ritual by using the hand to touch your head, chest and the area just below your lips. I do this, but only to please the people around me. Whenever I do so, I mentally apologize to my feet for making them feel inferior.

People here don’t give their feet the respect and love they deserve. Maybe its because they are actually ‘lower’ than the rest of the body parts. I don’t know. But I really think we should stop this discrimination of feet and just treat them like our hands or heads or whatever.

Especially when we can go places with those wonderful feet of ours!

The Return of the Nails

The result sheet claims I got distinction.

The nail biting has stopped.

Post Exam Fever

Two more days to go and the nail biting will end. The results will be declared then. And the agonizing thoughts of, ‘Did I pass?!? Did I flunk?!!?’ will finally be erased from the mind. The poor body has indeed suffered no end to this post exam trauma. The mind feels tight. The neck is stiff. The hair is standing on end in preparation for the oncoming shock. But the nails have suffered the worst. Indeed, they have been chewed and chewed by unkind teeth as if they were the most delicious things ever had.

The most worrying moments occur when you are enjoying a cup of cold coffee with your friends and the topic of “How My Exam Went” inevitably comes up. Then everybody starts discussing each and every paper in a mad frenzy.
I join the hullabaloo too.
English screwed me!!
Politics gave me goosebumps!
Psychology made me psycho!
Philosophy attacked me!
French was undecipherable!
Logic cracked my skull! (Really. Why did an illogical me think I could wallop Logic? I guess I’m just So Illogical.)
In the end, everybody is wolfing down their nails instead of their coffee.
After a while somebody goes, “Enough!”
It is met by unanimous nods.
Then someone goes, “But eco was real baaaaaad….”
“Ditto…”
And the vicious circle continues.

Oh! The horrible, horrible torture of waiting! Just two more days and 11 hours (Add another 77. The queues are long.) and I shall receive the result paper! Thence the torture will stop. Or continue. Only time will tell.

The Saddest Blog I've Ever Written

Rtyurtdfgfgdhgfsdyftuyrtyrt….. I’m bored. Sfgergwrt4rtefsdfasgdadwe. And I have nothing better to do. Hfghgfe. I have to write something… hgfsefuerteefgjdg. There.

Street Drama

Want to commit suicide? Don't bother to do it yourself. Too much trouble. Just walk on the roads of Pune and viola, you're flattened in 60 seconds flat!
Otherwise if you're just an innocent pedestrian then god bless you. Every time I walk on the roads, I take my life in my hands and pray fervently that it does not end up under the wheels of those quickie cars. Yes, there are more pavements now but apparently drivers cannot tell the difference between a sidewalk and a road.

There are also some evil bikers out on these roads. They love to come out of their way to the spot where you are walking so that you’re forced to move out of your way for them. Nothing pleases them more than your special 'hey-you-nearly-killed-me-!!!' face.

If you’re a pedestrian, you’re definitely severely abused during the monsoons. No vehicle accepts your existence and simply whizzes by, splashing mucky puddle “water” all over you. Sometimes you have to walk through the puddles if the whole road is flooded. And sometimes the puddles are filled with cow-shit.
Crossing the road is a big problem, especially at 6PM. Its packed, crammed and yet the vehicles are moving fast. That’s when you have two options:
1. Either you wait for the traffic to lessen a bit. This could leave you waiting until 11PM.
2. You just plunge into the road and zigzag your way out of the chaos. Of course this is pretty risky, but then, desperation conquers all. Sometimes this can cause you nearly bang into a car. If (by grace) the car stops for you, another bangs into it. And if you’re caught, you gotta pay for the damage. So if and when this happens my dear, run out of sight. Jump into a garbage truck if you have to but RUN OUT OF SIGHT.

Oh the woes of a pedestrian… Somebody, give me the directions to Fairyland. I’ll walk there if I have to but at least I’ll live happily ever after.

The Doomed Earth

Meet the new "environmentally conscious" family. They have a "Go Green" bumper sticker on their swanky, ever-polluting, AC attached Honda car. They have cut many trees to build a huge house with "environmentally friendly" material. They have their bathroom pipes connected to the plants outside so that whenever they wash themselves with chemically infused shampoos and soaps, that "water" goes out and feeds the pretty flowers instead of drowning in the drain.
And this is the "environmentally-conscious" family. Talk about being thoughtful.
Others don't give a damn. They use electricity, vehicles, remove vegetation to make way for their selfish selves, and contribute, in large numbers, to global warming. And give nothing back. Nothing.
I'm not any better. Even as I'm typing here complaining about how useless we are in trying to "save" the environment, I’m using electricity and consequently polluting the earth more.

Sorry for this but if you really want to save the world, please stand up and shoot yourself.

Bullseye!

Sometimes I feel helpless. I look around. And everywhere I look, I see people with aims in life. One aims to be a journalist. And is becoming one. One aims to be an engineer. And is becoming one. One aims to be a scuba diver. And is becoming one.

What do you want to become? A doctor?

Eeee! And cut up strangers and rummage through all their icky insides?

Okay, a psychologist?

Hmm…. I do like gossip…

Forget it. A lawyer?

But I hate those black suits.

Can we drop this neti-neti thing and get to the point?

No… I’d rather take things slowly.

We’ve taken it slowly enough. My next client has been waiting for 2 days.

Okay.

Just sit back, close your eyes and visualize yourself 10 years in the future. What do you see?

Me getting counseled by a better job counselor.

(Sighs) What I mean to say is don’t you even have some ambition? Some dream? Don’t you have an aim in life?

Yeah! To have an aim in life.